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[07 May 2005|02:34pm]
[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Kelly Clarkson- Behind these hazel eyes ]

Lst night kateys ..then sugar night club..it was okkkkk........\
Now for how i feel put into a song..lol :$



Seems like just yesterday
You were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight
Everything, it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong
Now I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside
'Cause I can't breathe
No, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside
...Anymore

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes



WHOA...this song is to perfect for me......... *LOVES IT*

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[02 May 2005|12:50pm]
[ mood | sick ]
[ music | neo cortex- storm of light ]

ewww i am so sick..AGAIN..i swear there is something wrong with me...its liek the 3rd time i've been sick...ne whooooo.....this weekend has been pretty good...friday kateys and saturday started off with me getting to nicoles house and thinking NO one was home and getting a lil scared when really nicole and katey were playng HIDE AND GO SEAK..ahha..i found it hilarious though.....so we just chilled aorund....then after gill and meaghan arrive.....WE HEAR A SCREAM comming form the upstairs bathroom where nicole is having a shower...all me and gill hear is katey screaming "EW THATS SO GROSS"..me and gill run up to see that nicole has shaved 6 layers of skin while shaving and she is bleeding like no tomoro....we help her and all and she is freaking out...ah nicole my slutina ginaaaaaaa.....u r so funny........so then we went downstairs and started drinking...nicole and veronica came also and then we drove to rhiannons for a bit before the wexford party...OMG FUNNIEST THING WITH NICOLE G.....me:"smell my drink" nicole:"its grossssssssss,but it will get you drunk" me" im sick though" ( looks away for 2 seconds and thinks about wat i just said) me" i duno why that matters" ME AND NICOLE LAUGHED SO HARD AT THAT>.haha..so before leaving gill decided to stay and i told her id come back to chill....we went to the wexford ppl were i got drunk :)..and so was all the like 200 ppl who were there....i hardly knew anyone..the only ppl i recognized were..........scott,kevin,megan,ashley d and m,veronica,ormond,preston (in MY HOUSE),garett,aj,kristen king and the ppl i came with..katey,meagha,veronica,nicole and nicole obviously..so we talked to a few ppl here and there..and some weird he/she came up to us and started tlakign to us about how their gay and shit..and asked me to make out..nicole g was so shocked she staired and walked away..i was liek uhh no i g2g..and ran to nicole.........OMG it was horrible...so in the end we left...and meghan and nicole stayed because they were smashed;)...i went out with rhi and gill to jeremys for a bit..and it was really weird....neil was kinda scary towards me and gill...haha we like RAN OFF...but meh...AFTER we went back to nicoles were she had random pl there and w got to know them and chilled...ahah nicole u crazy slutina....u had quite the night i luv ya....
then we just slept......:)


sunday came home at 3 from nicoles.....ate dinner, and then walked over to brittany's house....i never realized how different we oculd be but yet have such similarities..CONNECTIONSSSSSSSS.....we had a smoke,and talked about like our whole livez and realized the similarites...then went to her room and tried on shit for MONEY FRIDAY...wooooooooooooooo im so excited..........yea YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!


n e who im so sik and think i gowing to blwo up..i wont stop coughing...but i am goign to take a nap before i got to britts later ... byeeeeeee 1 ( haha nicoole and gill)



*Never take someone for granted hold them close to your heart because you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones...*

am i making a mistake?

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[30 Apr 2005|03:52pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

So i have not updated in the longest time but mehh....im hopefully back on track because me and my COUSINNNNNNNNNNN christine designed a new look for my lj...i hope it hasnt been ued before..but meh,i L O V E IT....so last night was pretty fun...we all went to katey babys house and i had fun fun fun...PROUD of myself that i was pretty much sober...katey had already been drunk which was wicked cool....and then gill and rhiannon were drinking and i have 2 beers which did absolutely nothing to me...carolee and nicole came after and drank a bit as well...well, carolee drank alot to be honest.AND KRSTINA came along after aswell....we all chilled and listened to LA MUSIQUE...and danced to GIMME GIMMEEEEEEEEEEE...RHIANNON who made up a DANCE of *ahem* FRESH MOVES with the kick and the punch..haha, you had to be there to understand WHY it was funny...we attempted to play the rinking game which failed terribly because people we're caught up with many other things.there we're a few arguments that seemed never ending and alot of emotion..i felt like one minute NO one talked to each other then the next everyone was talking. me and gill had talks, me and katey me and rhiannon...everyone i think had alot to say and a lot on their minds......THEN we all decided to go in the hot tub..which we did but no one really stayed that long....but it was nice and hot..anyways we went back and chilled some more..and then we left to go to jeremy where the guys were there and lil bum was too...and we all chilled, got a lil high...(me and rhi) and thn we left...


IM SO excited for money next friday..ME NICOLE AND BRITT...PSGIC for life (L).........wooo woooooo!!!


i just got in a fight with my mom and she fucking pisses me off, could she get a life and NOT tell me shit that she knows upsets me..she is so gay and think she can say watevr the fuck she wants to me..NO..your mom is NOT supposed to make u feel like shit, but be there for you...NOT MINE.....dont fucking call me stupid..i fuckign HATE YOU.............rhiannon you want my mom..TAKE HER....lol

and the she wonders why i like to get so wasted where i dont have to THINK!

2 .Post Comment

[16 Apr 2005|02:15am]
Note to self: i realized how much i missed u tonight....WE NEEDZ TO TALK
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[26 Jan 2005|06:09pm]
getting friday pictures developed tomoro..they will be done by the weekend..I CANNOT WAIT..wooo
1 .Post Comment

[25 Jan 2005|12:50pm]
i have not updated in like...32838293082093804982304283094 years because my stupid stupid internet does NOT work. it works liek ONE day a week now.i would like to inform everyone that i am NOT dieing because of friday events.i do not know how from me being sick and needing to go to the doctors, evryone thought i was dieing. lol. all that happend was i woke up monday morning more sick that i was all week, so i needed to go see a doctor and my doctor wasnt open yet at the time i got up so i went to the hospital doctor because they are open 24/7. THATS it. ...IT only made me VERY depressed for 2 days. i was sick all along. like wow people really dont need to enhance stories. :)..but n e who..

ive been sick all week. friday was an adventure and a half that i must update on tonight. i am just too lazy right now. i had lots of funn. then saturday until today i have been at home.sick out of my mind. lol. but but hopefully tomoro i am going to r h king and after that i duno wat the plans are..hmmm...


i was too scared to answer your call last night because i was too scared to say what i had to talk about with you ..wtf is wrong with me?



UPDATING ABOUT FRIDAY LATER ON...bye bye xoxox
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[13 Jan 2005|10:40pm]
[ mood | lonely but without the crying? ]

umm..i swear when i opened this i had alot to say..and now i dont know what it was..its like it all faded away...WHY do i say evryday is the worst day and then the next day is just WORSE..i feel so alone..and yet im not..but i feel liek i am..when will i have a good day..WATCH ,somehow..even my weekend , will turn out bad..because ill probably see him and we will talk and ill be liek OHHH I LOVE YOU..adn then realize the next day, wtf did i do?..but to talk or not to talk? i mean..i dont know what does it anymore..or wat helps it or n e thing..because i dont know if anything does help..but if i do see you, i know we'll talk..but i do not want your apoligies and sweet gestures..(if thats how u spell it)..just kiss me hard..cuz it would b the last time that i let you!! haah i luv that song! alot..and someone just drove by my house and it was sick because it made a loud noise..haha WOW that souds so funny..but i am just writting non stop and watevr pops into my mind so this should turn out good..haha..but yeah..tomoros friday..and after that is saturday..wooo am i ever pumped..i hope it helps me out..i need to be free..yet i dont want to do e? hmm...there is confusions in evrything i do..cant anything be easy? anything..at all..and i hope things work out with this triangle because its not worth it...and yet im stuck ...so what to do? oh well ill go back to talking to my luvers on msn..

1 .Post Comment

[11 Jan 2005|11:21pm]
[ mood | blank ]
[ music | la la la? ]

(What do you do when you know something's bad for you
but you still can't let go?)

I was naive, your love was like candy
artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping
Got caught in your web and I learned how to bleed
I was prey in your bed and devoured completely

And it hurts my soul cause I can't let go
All these walls are caving in, I can't stop my sufferin'
I hate to show that I lost control
Cause I, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need
To walk away from
Yeaah...

I need to get away from you, need to walk away from you
get away, walk away, walk away. . .

I should have known that I was used for amusementCouldn't see through the smoke,
It was all an illusion
Now I've been licking my wounds,(licking my wounds) but the venom seeps deeper (deeper, deeper)
We both can seduce, but darlin' you hold me prisoner

Oh, I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure, and I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every step I take leads to one mistake
I keep going right back to the one thing that I need
Oh, I can't mend this torn state I'm in
Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn
And everywhere I turn,
I keep going right back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from
yeahh...

I need to get away from you, need to walk away from you

Every time I try to grasp for air
I am smothered in despair
It's never over, over, oh oh. . .
Seems I'll never wake from this nightmare,
I let out a silent prayer. . .
Let it be over, oh. . .

Inside I'm screaming, begging, pleading no more (oooh)

Now what to do, my heart has been bruised
So sad but it's true, each beat reminds me of you

It hurts my soul, cause I can't let go
All these walls are caving in, I can't stop my sufferin'
I hate to show that I've lost control
Cause I, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need
Oh, I'm about to break, I can't stop this ache
I'm addicted to your allure, and I'm fiendin' for a cure
Every step I take leads to one mistake
I keep going right back to the one thing that I need
Oh, I can't mend this torn state I'm in
Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn
And everywhere I turn, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need
To walk away from
yeaahh...

dying...
i said...
NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU
NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU
NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU
NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU
NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU
NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU


Only thing I need to do
Is walk away from you

i think i love this song..it is PEFECT..so hmmm..today was definately hell..a whole day in the office...it was sad but because all i could do was THINK..and i got sad thinking so i went on a walk around the school..where I THOUGHT some more..so that didnt help..so i ate..and i got better...LOL..i aslo did a TON of hmwrk..which made me feel smart and happy...LOL ..n now im at home..trying NOT to think about ish..but listening to this song DEFINTAELY helps..you said the nicest things today !! BUT I STILL.....

*NEED TO GET AWAY FROM YOU, NEED TO WALK AWAY FROM YOU*

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[10 Jan 2005|11:14pm]
I heard about your trip
I heard about your souveniors
I heard about the cool breeze and the cool nights
And the cool girls that you spent them with
I guess I should have heard of them from you
I guess I should have heard of them from you

Well don't you see, don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the "best deceptions" and the
"Clever cover story" awards go to you

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips
Will be of service to giving you away

I heard about your regrets
I heard that you were feeling sorry
I heard from someone that you wish you could
Set things right between us
Well, I guess I should have heard of that from you
I guess I should have heard of that from you

Well don't you see, don't you see
That the charade is over
And all the "best deceptions" and the
"Clever cover story" awards go to you

So kiss me hard
'Cause this will be the last time that I let you
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips
Will be of service to giving you away
To giving you away

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers
I'll be alright when my hands get warm
Ignoring the phone--I'd rather say nothing
I'd rather you never heard my voice
You're calling too late, too late to be gracious
You do not warrant long goodbyes
You're calling too late
You're calling too late
You're calling too late
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[10 Jan 2005|11:13pm]
This is where I say I've had enough
and no one should ever feel the way that I feel now.
A walking open wound,
a trophy display of bruises
and I don't believe that I'm getting any better, any better.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
and I'm thinking awful things
and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.

Wandering this house
like I've never wanted out
and this is about as social as I get now.
And I'm throwing away the letters that I am writing you
'cause they would never do,
I would never do, never.

Waiting here with hopes the phone will ring
and I'm thinking awful things
and I'm pretty sure that few would notice.
And this apartment
is starving for an argument.
Anything at all to break the silence.
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[10 Jan 2005|10:25pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

EW today was the worst day EVER.. first off cuz i had to spend the whole day in the office and have to for the next 2 days....then got detention after school.and now came home to the WORST BREAKING NEW EVER...why do i always think something..and it ends up being COMPLETLY not what i thought...do i seriously not hae a brain and am i seriously STUPID..as a certain fucker would like to think i am..because ok its funny at first..but after awhile being called stupid? like..its shittty :S..and on top of all the OTHER things said..tonight was all in all SHIT...i duno wat im goign to do liek i always think i know someone, and end up COMPLETELY on the wrong track. OR i will get signs..but they will be completely oposite of what the person is actually trying to show me.ARGHHGHGHGHG im sUCH a mess right now..omg, honestly rhiannon..we need to talk about life..u dunt knoww at happend tonight but still...we need to bond about this ..like tomoro..at lunch...with fries..in our *HIDDING LUNCH SPOT*..haha...the weekend was good..was with rhiannon and shannen and shaun and we drank..YES we drank..and partied with STROBY and rhiannons blue dance cd ..LOL. i met nick and his friends and it was cool stuff..me n nick talked about life..and how i didnt agree on his theory..and that "WE HAVE A LIFE". then went bak and watched nimo where we repeated over and over and over again the part the lil fish falls on the floor.. PAUSE..and cries..HAHA..it was SICK..and " im obnoxious" HAHAH oh and rhiannon...GIVE me some fin..NOGIN ( BOOM *SMACK* heads)..totally....dude....
saturday went to rhiannons while we had a crazy talk about being lied to....
"so i heard there was a party"
" uhh no sry no party"
" so, i was.....LIED TO?"
hahaha oh man...so we went to megans where we jammed with fez erison and GABBY! and we partied..YES WE DID..and we were honestly all SO smashed..i had problems with falling on floors and doors..and thn i called someone..and yelled at first..then decided to tlak shit out..so they came..i left with them for 50 mins and rhiannon thought i was left..WHICH I WOULD NEVER...lol..and me n them justtt..talked shit out..I YELLED...they apologized 348938493 times oh so cutely..and thn ...watevr....annd after 50 mins..i opened the car door, FELL HEAD FIRST INTO THE SNOW..and tumbled..AHHAHA it was the best thing EVER..and thn i went into a random house and knocked and asked for megan wen i forgot that it wasnt her house n tht the person just dorve down a bit..lol...so i met up with le crew..and we WALKED..oh we walked..and ended up to erison somehow were i didnt feel to good..and puked..ON HIS PORCH..ERISON im sry..if u read this...some....how? and then we heard fighting n i was like whewwwwwwwww..FIHGTING..thn we some how ended at rhiannosn..where she got in shit...im sry (L) i heart you and wish it never happend..so we left..and we just walked..me n megan were so smashed..BUT we walked..and we called out brent and he told us events tht went down the night before..lol..and we ended u pat dominion were we went wild..AND DURING THE WALK me n megan talked FRENCH for 20 mins..it was SIC..no noe understood and never will understand wat we talked about ;)! and thn we took the cab home..it was honestly..AN AMAZING saturday...except for yesterday hang over...

and now today STUPID ASS WAS AN ASS..and im so MAD..because i get mixed signals..I WISH I COULD UNDERSTAND!

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[06 Jan 2005|02:09pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | jennifer glass- dreamin' ]

im at home..AGAIN..wtf is wrong with me..i cant get myself to go to school..im goign to fail baddddddddddddddddddd....:(..its actually startting to upset me..oh well..tomoro is friday soo WOOOO..calling naked boy out..WHAAAAAAAAAAAA...
im hungry i shall go eat..lovess..



***I like you because of who you are to me. I hate you because of what you did to me. I love you and that’s how it will always be.I thought missing you was only for a day. I thought needing you would go away. Why do I see you in everything I do? Why does every song I hear remind me of you? Maybe it’s because I can’t fall out of love with you.
I try to clear my mind and forget all the times you lied, all the times you made me cry, every time you said goodbye, each time you just walked by but it’s impossible to do because I can’t look at anything without thinking of you.
I wanna hate you so bad but I love you too much.***

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[05 Jan 2005|07:12pm]
wow the break had SUCH a mixture of fuckign wicked times..and horrible, depressing times...even though the depressing ones had a huge affect on me, it made me party more which made me happy..but last wednesday was sick sick SICK! guvernment was LIVE and the lights rhiannon..THE LGHTS were shining on us :D!! it was so fun i was with rhiannon all night and we just couldnt stop..it was me rhiannon and the music and the lights..just us and the lights..haha..oh man but thn we were with SAM aka FEZ aka me n kateys idol..and megan..and we ran into a FATHER ON E..who looked like a priest. YES a PRIEST! haha.. and his daughter was there too..it was HALARIOUS then there was the random guy who was all hyper and jumpy and came and dacned with me n rhiannon LOL..anddddddddd me n rhiannon intereupted a circle of glowsticking men and we just danced in the midle of their circle and gave them thumbs up..HAHA..it was soo fun..and then me n rhiannon decided to go to a hotel after party with sam and megan and mike and eric and 2 girls from misisauga and PETER..whom i had a bonding talk with on the way there..lol so it was hard ot get in..but we did and we moved the bed and partied all night long..and i drank moreeeee.. and then it was fun and shit got fucked and by morning..i was in the worst mood ever..me rhiannon n pete..oh man

the day before i had few ppl over n it was fun fun..

newyears was fun i partied in richmond hill YESS..lol

im so mad the break is over..first day didnt go wen to mcdonalds with rhino and thn to her house where we had bonding with sailor moon LOL.. and watched 100 girls and talked to ppl on LE PHONE..lol

then yesterday went to natalies with rhiannon and danny..adn wathced cruel intetions..
which reminded me of last year fun times at lauras with katey robert and his friends...GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES..

now im herre doing nothing...OH YA me laura n katey walked home and obsesed over FEZ..

n yaaaaaaaa...bye luvs xoxox
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GGRRRR [30 Dec 2004|04:04pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | mirror mirror- solid base ]

SO i just realized that my last like 3 updates have been me either angry or upset...and honeslty if it bugs u guys..dont read it..i personnaly need to write when i have a strong emotion in me...and u dont need ot respond either..because im writting for myself..

But as fun and SICK and amazing and intense last night was.....there was still..the fucked up shit that was only at the back of my mind becuase i was drunk. But I was having so much fun and then i saw you...YOU fucked up piece of shit whom i seriously think i hate...I love how every thing happends all at once.. You have been lying all along, and i hate how u talk to me, i seriously think i hate evrything about u....you definately did look fuckign RIDICULOUS dancing..hahahah you seriously were a FUNNY ONE.. in your case.." dont dance if u canot dance" hahah..RHIANNON WOULD AGREE WITH ME ON THIS ONE..so then i get all emotional and mad....that i saw you and i got angry to the max i just wnated to rip your head OFF...and slap you up..and omg if it wasnt for rhiannon i was SO READY TO DO IT...and u fucking saw me and fucking backed off..your stupid..i dont want to see you ever again, hear you speak, see you sign on, get your emails, your excuses your lies your bullshit...everything about you......im so upset though..because of evrything ive been through.. the thought of someone else..killss...without really saying wat i mean..i cant belive wat meaghan told me...because ur profile surely says differently and u were trying to talk shit out with me still so wtf...watevr...ill cry over u once or twice, then fucking hate you for life...



LAST NIGHT WAS SICK...but samuel :(..omg i love u!!

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THANK YOU :( [26 Dec 2004|01:28am]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | MARIA- FUCKING HATE YOU ]

I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..
I FUCKING HATE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART..

THANKS FOR EVRYTHING YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!

GO SUCK A DICK!

:(



...and merry christmas evryone..pretty sure u all got wat u wanted....well..NOT ME

2 .Post Comment

[23 Dec 2004|02:45pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU SO MUCH..You just made chirstmas worth NOTHING!...IF i am such a HORIBLE person so then YTF wouldnt you just kick me out..I NEVER FUCING ASKED YOU TO BRING ME TO LIFE..AND RIGHT NOW..I wish i wasnt BECAUSE OF YOU..YOUR SO fucking stupid...ITS the 5 th time you asked me to do something for "FAMILY TIME" and YOU fuck up EVRY SINGLE TIME..and this time, when we were actually going to go.I FUCKING got up early FOR YOU because YOU wanted to go to an earlier show...SO i got ready you COME IN..AND YELL AT ME? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU..HONESTLY I FUCKING HATE YOU SO MUCH..I AM KICKING myself out..FUCK YOU!

Im leaving right now, dont kwno where, but i hope your happier!

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[22 Dec 2004|09:56pm]
[ mood | calm ]

AHHHH i decided to stay at home today becausee i had to stay and clean my room cuz i got one of my christmas presents which was a NEW BEDROOM SET..woo now my room looks okayyy..lol BUT it was a SHOCK, IN MY HOUSE!! because i was sitting here and these random ppl barge right into my room bringing stuff in..lol..and also cuz i ddint ask for it soo hmm..but it looks nice now..
CHRISTMAS IS COMMING..wooooo...IT'S PRACTICALLY HERE!!! im excited..for osme reason i feel liek im getting alot this year..i dunno whyy..

AND i was supposed to see series of unfortunate events today BUT MY MOM REFUSED to take me in the weather...and its not like its a snow storm out there..its not that bad..grrr

OH well hopefully i will see it tomoro.

im seeing you soon!! awww im excited, it'll be an awesome christmas present :)(L)!!!


kk if off ..by luvsss


and also hot lines used yesterday that work evry time...

- if you dont want me to talk to u then i will stop

- shutup,i do

- FUCK, you always know what to say back to get to me

- ;)


HAHAH fucking idiottt..

..i dunno i found that hot.."SHUTUP I DO"...lol..i dunno..maybe.. BYEE xoxo

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grr [21 Dec 2004|02:10am]
[ mood | enraged ]

You are so fucked..and think that the whole world is obsessed with you when really, they are not..I don't know WHY things are like this, maybe because you are not OPENED with me ,but hey i dont blame you because guys do not talk the same way girls do..We ask questions you give one word answers, you ask question we give you our life story..but its the way we are born..but SOMETHING about the way you talk is SO cold..i just dont understand WHY you tell me to keep holding on, for what? So that i am added on to the pile..
You honestly need to stop giving me all your " i will change, for you" because honestly..YOU CANNOT CHANGE..its just NOT possible..People tell me to hold on to you because maybe you actually have feelings for me on the inside..and that i you really were an asshole then you would of stopped tlakign to me MONTHS AGO..but no..its been over a year..but i HIGHLY dought anythign serious is there..because if there is..you do not show it..or maybe simply dont know how..I duno..but it does NOT change the fact that you were totaly gay today, about something you dont have proof of..you think im obsessed with you? well think again..because as much as feelings are there for you..LOTS have changed..and you may just loose me forever if you dont know how to pull yourself together..i may aswell just leave you know cuz you dont seem different, and as much as u fucked up life, WHY should i give you another chance?give me one good reason why..like fuck ..you dont DESERVE ME...and STOP telling me to take it easy i wont...i was so proud that you change cuz u actually showed that you cared not to see it all fuck up today...MAYBE you are going through something, but it doesnt HURT to tell me you dont wanna talk right now...instead of being fucking gay..watevr..if your going to keep telling me to hold on cuz somethign good will come out of it, then how about you show me..cuz i wont be here for much longer...

I went to tinas today and drank a bit and made a CHEMICAL REACTION :O...we mixed maileys and coke and it became FOAM.and tasted like coffee..lol..i feel smart...

anyways im off..

2 .Post Comment

[20 Dec 2004|04:17pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | Mallorca- loft ]

mallloorrrcaaa, exctacy im motion OHHH OHHH..hah i love that song..any who..so i have to do some seriousssss updating. lets quickly sum up last weekend since it was a while ago..lol hummm....
last firday- had sally and belma over, went to rhiannons where she decided to have a few people over for a LITTLE xmas get together..or PARTAYY!! SO we got there..and nicole and shaun were already there..they left a few times to pick up some stuff..so belma and sally got the weed they wanted..and i had alochol..so thne we went out to a park where we met up with monica and stacy and ruth..so we all drank..went back to rhiannons and thats when the party started..we started dancing and stuff and then nicole galea, gill and soph came after that..so we all partied and danceddd AND THEN i feel something on my foot...and i go to rhiannon and am like "rhiannon, i think i stepped in something,and its leaking" and rhiannons just liek wtf..and i go on the couch, pull off my sock and realize i stepped ons omething and had a cut and am bleeding..:S..and i start yelling and crying saying "get it out"..and sophia was just SCREAMING for no aparent reason..lol it was weird..so then my foot got rapped, and i got up, and jsut started dancing..haha monica thought i was a champ..but really i just didnt feelit at all :S..so i danced and then i got harassed on the phone..and thennn me n soph were finding another top to wear cuz we were hot but thn i remember i already had one under my sweater..lol.but thn sophia and i went into rhiannons bathroom where we did a TOP SECRET mission which was actualll COMPLETELY hilarious, then had old bonding times and then went downstairs and were the only ones including rhiannon, partying and dancing.. AQUAAAAAAAA..wooo..and the LEE song...ohh man..lee,and adam,and miles and few other that i dont remember came also for a bit..then garett came ..and i swear i couldnt stop dancing..DESPITE my poor foot that was probably killing me, but i just didnt know :S...THEN we had to leave so we went on a walk to dans house where we THOUGHT there was a party when really he just lied , there was no party..and me and nicole galea where listening to my music and going wild on the way..then soph and gill and nicole gidman left and me n rhiannon and nicole galea went back..and pat and vi where there..so we went into the basement n just hcilled and order pizza...where we were muted for 5 minutes and finished the pizza instantly..lol


Saturday- basically, went to rhiannons and just sitting there at first then nicole,nicole,ashley and gill came..and we all foudn out tht pat was having ppl so we got our drink and left..as we walked shelly called ash and said shed dirve us...so we sqeezed in and got there..and I had so much fun and just partiedddddddddddd..woooo.i luved it..then his mom cae down and partied which was the highlight...then we had to go and me n nicole and nicole went to pizza pizza to get a water bottle..thn nicolde gidman left and me n nicole galea went to the new houses with the PARTY CARDBOARD PPL who dont invite us..so since they dont invite us we went behind and stole toilet paper for NO reaosn..thn went to st brendans..where many ppl were..so we drank and jammed..and erison, like a DUMB kid..hurt himslef..and was being oh so STUPID about it..STUPID STUPID BOY..let me tell you..grrrr...so then me and erison and joe and addie drove to joes to get erison bandages and then went back to brendans ..AND me n rhiannon were just liek erison is DUMB..so i tried to convince her there was no erison here... " rhiannon just dance, lets dance, theres no erison, just me you and the light" haha..aww i heart you..lol SO we danced..YUP we just danced..and adamo was impressed..hahaha..so any ways..afte rppl started leaving..joe asked me to chill longer with him. so we did and he was chilling with ADDIEEEEEe..which rocked..i was like woooooo..i heart him..ahahaha..so it was addie, garett, erison me joe and rhiannon lying down on all of us in addies car ..haha it was wild..then we booted erison to the bridge ..but felt bad for leaving adamo...ahahrhiannon --> " how about you jsut cut the whole arm off"..lmaoooo..and the middle figner dancing behind him..ahhaha AHHHHHH,,anywhoe..so then it was me rhiannon joe garett and addie..and we cruised.. and it was funyn cuz there was a liter of water in the car that was being passed around and we had nooo clue who it was for..lol..cuz no one was on E..APARENTLYYYY..bt we dropped off garett..and the rest of the night was just addie me rhiannon and joe..we cruised..went to dominion..and crashed at garetts were we watched TWISER and really, we only wanted to see the cow flying..haha..AND ADDIE came into one of our jokes..and i was SO happy tht he got into our jokes cuz we were talking NON stop about the movie..adn just laghing..so thn i went back to rhiannon, were we went into some incidents and i am sry rhiannon tht my mom is gay and doesnt understand ..and i called her evryone hour basically..and wouldnt belvie tht my fone DIED..but ne ways i stayed there n had chiecken the next day..wooo


NOW...this weekend was okay..just a cool, chilling weekend..friday went to belmas and watched movies and ate....saturday, shopping with mom first then tina and amrita for a bit..then me n tina went to jays were we bought 24 of honey beer ..and we drank thm all..n me n tina had bonding times outside lol...and then i smoked a bit of weed to go with it..and it really fucked me upp..beer and weed i think is awesomeee...thn i called rhiannon..n she is the only one i remember calling..lol..thn we just chilled it was fun..thn i went homeee..

YESTERDAY I WENT TO JOKER.oh man it was quite the adventure at first.we got a ride there early..and already, there was people in line. but we needed a place to drink..so OMG this is so funny..we walked to an italian restaurant..and asked to use the bathroom..adn we drank in there..lmoa..it was my idea it was crazzzyy..we left beer bottles and evrything in the bathroom wen we were done and booked it..ahah

then we waited in line..OMG it was the worst wait ever..SINCE yesterday was the first -30 wweather this year..it was SOO COLD..we waited for i swear, an hour and a half..it was BAD..we all went numb..and wen we got in i swear it was like heaven..so we got in and i danced right away..cuz i was sooo drunk..haha it was good..good music and shit...and hot guys..i met this guy named angel..he was hot..an he got my number..woooo..there where many ppl from school there 2..we just jammed with thm for a bit..it wa fun fun..jokers pretty good..but im EXCITED for guvernment..woo..but the waiting was a KILLER.. n e who..so today i went out for lunch..thts basically all i did so far..lol n tonight i think i am partying with tinaaa..ahah LIKE OLD TIMES..last xmas break..oHHH we partied..IM CARS and EVRYWHERE..and its HAPPENING AGAIn..PARTY IN A CAR..haah last year ..me n my phone calls ;)....why not do it again:)!!!! .TONIGHT..but really, i duno wats goign on yet..but thts about it..

well actualy, it was ALOT...DONT read it all if you dont want tooo..ahha..woooooooo KAYY

bye luverss.xoxo

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[09 Dec 2004|02:03am]
snow fairy
You are like the snow fairy, she is very beautiful,
she has the power to make things beautiful, but
She is sometimes quite selfish, and spends most
of the time she should be using her magic
staring at her self in the mirror. Other than
the fact that she is vain and selfish. She is
a nice person, when she IS actually using her
magic, her powers are great, and she is very
helpful. Well that's most of the tings about
the snow fairy, can you relate to some of them?
You probably can, because that is what this
quiz is for!


**The ultimate Fairy quiz**(anime pics!) for girls, but if you are a guy you can take it too! !**being improved more**!
brought to you by Quizilla







ecstasy
Ecstacy.
Sex and lights,
It's totally chill,
you could really have fun,
with this little pill.


Which drug should you be hooked on? [now with pictures]
brought to you by Quizilla


Ariel
You are Ariel from The Little Mermaid!


What Disney Princess are you?
brought to you by Quizilla



walk away
You are...Walk away. You have a hard time walking
away from guys, don't you?


Which Christina Aguilera song are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


*so true :S*



hahah soo yeah its 2 in the morning..i cant sleep and im doign these quizes becausei am bored and cant sleep..cuz i took a nap and got up at 9..wooo for me..kayy..do these quizes their awesome..wooo im pumped to do more,,

tootles XoX
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